GRIZZLY ADAMS

If he didn't have any hair & we completely shaved his chin, we reckon he would look a little bit like that bloke Phil, the baldy estate agent off Location, Location, Location. There is something about the mouth there, that says that. Fact is though, this little mofo has got hair (all be it receding faster than a Polar Bear's prospect of a fresh Seal supper...), but his baldy Phil vibe still shines through. This is why we've decided not to draw public attention to the future follicular challenges that he may yet face & instead we've chosen to liken him to a bizarre character from the mid-70's, who was like a kids TV woodsman-type dude, called Grizzly Adams. Old Grizzly was a big, hairy mother who played with Bears, had a beard.... Tenuous though it may be, that readers, is the missing link. Coincidentally, his hairy, Monkey, Ape, Chimp-Gibbon facial fur, further endorses our previous statement. Not ones to ever criticise, or draw attention to the characteristics of our fellow man, we feel in this case, we get a pass. This Grizzly Adams is not involved with Bears, he's an stone Apeman... An Apeman, who (surprisingly) sports some of the finest bloodwork currently on display in this, the most esteemed & highest of all competitions. Look... It's on his shirt, doesn't match his head at all, appears to have no basis in fact & is totally incongruous, except for the fact it's Halloween. Here's a man who had a go & ended up as the living embodiment of a primate, a primate who did half a job - but really well. It's a fine shirt wuth very fine blookwork indeed. Next year we're offering a bunch of bananas as the main prize & there will be a tree scuttling relay. He must apply...