VAMPIRE 2. LAME DUCK VAMPIRE WHO SECRETLY WANTED TO BE A WITCH.
Pet lamb, it's simply not good enough...
Think about it, to be a Vampire you are missing (at the bear minimum) just a cape & some pointy teeth...
The amount of vital equipment you are missing to be a Witch...? Please don't get us started on all that again! Just put the chopstick down.. put it down...
We all know you harbour Witch aspirations, but we have transfered you into this category for your own good. Please accept our spook instruction, we know what we are on about & what is in your best interests. You pal, are simply not cut out to be a Witch. Yes, there could be lots of reasons, but alet's be kind & just say that perhaps you are too nice a person..? Regardless, that effort you are making there, with your bit chopstick, is pitious...
Hang around & we'll sort you some pointy gnashers out, a red lined cape & you can be on your way. Witching is outside your capabilities. This is your new category & your destiny is now to be a Vampire. You'll be thanking us next Halloween & we'd rather you thought of it as a simple career change, rather than a full blown intervention.
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